I wanna watch this with the gufwens!

Food

Yeaahhh... quality of the xperia. The food were actually yummerzzzz, the photo didn't do it justice :)

We're cooking tomorrow!

Sam and I are having Cass, Marius, Clare, Joel and Gabe over for dinner tomorrow night :D

The menu:

For mains (same time with entree)

Peppered steak on salad leaves 

with grilled capsicum, avocado, purple onions 

and zucchini topped... with some feta.

Crispy skinned pork belly (roasted all day) 

with lemon, fennel and garlic seasoning

Spring roast chicken... Sam's style 

(i.e. I don't know exactly what goes on there, 

I just know its super delicious)

and

Sweet potato mash with honey mustard seeds

For dessert

I forgot what it's called 

but its a custard dessert that Gabe will be making in Sam's kitchen :D

Happy joy joy only food completes my life! (literally)

Lets hope I remember to take photos :)

For the person who told me to update something more interesting

Break ups are hard. One always feels worse than the other and when its time to finally let go, parts of us still remain scarred. We carry the hurt and we find ways to learn and grow with the hurt for future relationships to come. Sometimes the hurt brings more trouble, in the sense that one experience brought too much heartache you try to avoid making the same mistake in the next one, and because it hurt so much you try extra hard to stop it but end up neglecting other important aspects of a relationship.

Well, humans aren't like vampires. We don't have a switch for pain or feelings that we can turn on and off. We can only find new ways to get by. I can't promise the day will come when you finally stopped wondering about your previous half. I can't promise that he will never come back to you either. For as long as he remained the most interesting thing to think about, you will keep thinking about him. Regardless how much you've accepted that things are over.

The thing is, the best part is yet to come. That thing about, always hoping when you receive a text it is from that one person, about, always hoping a missed call was from the same person... one day someone will surprise you, about how long that "bliss" can last. I'm not talking about break ups anymore. I'm talking about meeting someone, who after 15 months of dating you're still hoping that whatever call or text you have on your phone is from that person. I never imagined this possible... but it really is one of the sweetest surprises of life.

Imagine the magnitude of feeling shitty, turned around to the same magnitude but feeling so excited. And the fact that its a feeling of excitement just makes it so much more empowering. I've said the things about time healing the wounds, and letting yourself feel emo to fully let things out, I've mentioned to imagine happiness without being dependent, and also things like being honest to yourself... what you truly want and be responsible about achieving them. Now I'm asking, imagine happiness while you're with someone, someone that you don't know yet, keep the image blurry. Someone who shares the same humor with you, the same temperament, someone who inspires you to be better than yourself without losing the slightest bit of who you truly are. And imagine that even after years of knowing each other, an unexpected text from that particular human being, still without fail lights up your day.

Just imagine. I'm not asking anyone to fantasize. Just to imagine.

And I can tell you with so much certainty, that one day, someone will surprise you with these delights and even more. I don't know what else to say, except be excited. Sure moments are dull right now, but you have no idea what's in store for you. Instead of looking at it with gloom, why not try think of it as something you should be excited about? Till that day of surprises comes, don't over-think the situation, instead, just know at the back of your mind that it will come soon enough.

:)

I have finally have a positive update

Sam is coming to KK with me later mid year :D

SHOOO EXCITED.

That's 2 months away!

heheheheheheheeh

Ok back to work.

After all that crap

I've decided to change my essay topic. To my surprise, I wasn't struggling as bad. Still, I have only just written my introduction. I don't know why I waited till now to change  the topic.

All that time before - wasted. Seriously. Kill me.

And I forgot I also have a 2-page summary to hand in, on top of the 2 different essays due.

How the hell did I end up this way?

Blocked

I can't believe I wasted so much time this week.

I have two essays due next week. I have ZERO words down. I am freaking out. I keep writing up plans and skeletons to help me start but I keep getting blocked. Everything I think about ends up being backed by "buts" and "why" and "I don't know"!

I feel a bit helpless.