Preciousness

No doubt, I have been stressing for the past few weeks. I felt a little better though when my parents were here. Now its back to reality. Instead of doing my work, I worry about them. I get stressed about assignments before I even start them, and when I stress about assignments I stress about my future. How likely is it that, by failing this one assignment, my chances of getting a decent job is lowered? How likely is it that, by the time I'm finished with my course, I actually even have a full-time job?

I used to believe it doesn't matter what I do in the future, as long as I'm happy doing it and that it pays enough for me to live a comfortable life. I'd picture a healthy family in a modest home, a pet or two, not worrying about bills, or education for my children. In saying that, I'm not talking about the kind of "comfortable" that allows luxury cars or annual around-the-world trips... I don't need and want that much. Yet (the big yet), the more I think about it, the more I've come to realise that comfortable still.. means.. money.

So I'd think to myself, is comfortable too much, anyway?

The first drive home after I purchased the VW, it hit me, how lucky and fortunate I was to be in that position. I thought, there are so many people in the world, millions, in hunger, in poverty, in dirt, in shelter homes... many of those, have never even been/sat in a car, let alone own one. No one they knew, none of their friends or their families, ever able to afford even a taxi.

I worry about disappointing my parents and leaching off them as an adult, yet I have all the reasons in the world, NOT to.

Within the last few days I had heard 2 devastating news. The first is, one of my brother's high school friends was diagnosed with terminal cancer. And second, a terrible car accident in the city where a 20yr girl, who was drink driving, and having fun with speeding, lost control with her car and resulted her killing one of her friends. Due to the impact, the poor girl (who wasn't wearing her seat belt) was thrown through the windows. And died on the scene.

Just imagine, knowing you haven't much time to live, or, you have killed a best friend just for a moment of reckless fun? It hurts. And it hurts to be on the other side too, to know your son haven't much time to live, or to know you've lost a daughter whom you had dreamed about one day taking care of you on your last days.

Life is so precious. You've heard it time and time again... we all have. And we still tend to forget about it.

I have been counting my blessings. Although it doesn't completely remove my stresses, I am a lot more appreciative that I have the kind of stresses I have now and nothing more, and most importantly that I still have my loved ones in my life. These relationships are what makes everything else irrelevant. And I do try to remind myself every day.

C:

Because of them, I know I'll be alright.

IT REALLY IS because of them, that my imperfect life feels most perfect, uncertainties and all.



God bless everyone............ even those who don't believe!

Toodles from the Ngoodles.