Studying

While shampooing my hair, I was thinking, do I really hate studying? I mean, why? When it comes down to doing research and writing up shit... Do I really hate it? Why do I hate it?

I actually don't. The only reason I hate it is because I know I can be doing something else that's less boring. Stress comes before and after doing my homework - Before, because I know what lies ahead and how much I have to do to get it finished. After, because, even though I did some homework, it's never really complete.. until literally the night before it's due. I also stress when I hit deadends. The thing about deadends... is that they are always temporary. I always pull through and think up something in the end, regardless of the quality. But everytime I hit a deadend, I look for distractions, until I feel motivated enough to start again. Once i start, and reach that deadend again, I procrastinate again.

It's so annoying! Why do I do that!? the fact that I pull through everytime shows that if I stick to it long enough, I'll be out of that deadend eventually. I shouldn't just quit everytime after being blocked by one.

Anyway, upon realising all this, I've decided to take a new approach to studying. I have to always remind myself that I don't actually hate studying. I like finding relevant information. I like knowing I'm contributing to my future by studying. I like knowing I'm growing and I like knowing I'm progressing. Most of all I like knowing I'm getting things done.

And what to do when I hit another deadend? Keep going! This is my self-promise. No quitting. If I ever feel like it, I'll remind myself I always think of something in the end so I might as well think up something straight away (no matter how many times I keep hitting myself with mental blocks).

I spent most of the weekend pondering to myself and reflecting before coming to this.... conclusion.... or whatever it's called. Sicne then I've been reminding myself that studying and doing homework will reward me and bring me closer to my life goals. And though I was no where close to my homework the past few days, I was excited to get back to it. And I did.

I'm not done with my homework or anything, but I thought I could take some time sharing this with you people :)