M

I saw a translated Japanese proverb today. It was framed up at where we had our training. It said “Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare”.

When I read it, the first thing that came to mind, was a good friend of mine. One I rarely see, because of distance, because of time, and of course because I’m not that loaded to fly over to Europe to see her whenever I wanted (which is pretty much how I feel like every time I talk to her). She’s one of the most amazing people I know, and one you never need to try to get along with. Our friendship was effortless. We connected immediately. Sounds funny I know, but there are some people who are just hard to get along with at first, but you end up close with them anyway much later.

Anyway, M, you’re probably the reason I got so disappointed with PLC. Let me explain people. Before going there, I knew she went to that school. So when I met her, and knowing I was going to be in the same school, I thought everyone I meet, will be just like her! Easy going and open-minded.

Boy was I wrong!

Nevertheless, even before going to PLC, I just knew there will never be another M. Till now, I still believe that.

M, I apologise for what I said before. It wasn’t my place at all to tell you to get back with P. However, I still strongly believe, you are capable of achieving everything you want to achieve. To be independent, to be inspiring. You already got this! It just hasn’t been obvious to YOU because you just don’t believe it. The proverb above can be interpreted in so many ways, but it reminded me of you because when you spoke to me, you were so clear with knowing what needed to be done, how it had to be done, and why you needed what you want… you were very clear, except… for when you begin to add detail to the plan, which threw you off track, and you became overwhelmed with actually making these thoughts into reality.

I know we can’t help it when sometimes millions of things rush to our head when we start to think or plan things. And every time it happens, little do we know it, it discourages us more and more to think about it and to get started at all. But the littlest things we do to make it clearer, make a huge difference. Like blogging? c: Actually, anything that presents to you physically of what you initially thought of, HELPS. Whatever this may be. A post-it. A drawing. A picture of someone. It just helps whenever you can see your goals in front of you in actual material. These don’t necessarily have to represent your ultimate life goals. These can just be plans for the next day. Like I said, littlest things, huge difference. We may not know be aware of it but actually doing what we actually planned to do motivates us to do a lot more.

Someone once told me, sometimes to step up you step sideways. It doesn’t matter if nothing is happening. But the effort still makes a huge difference. Also, people don’t think this is important but always acknowledge the things you do for yourself and recognise it whether you have tried doing what you planned to do. M, I don’t need to be in front of you, to know that you’re not as aware of what goes on when you’re doing something for yourself, compared to how you feel when you’re alone. Don’t get the wrong idea, what I’m saying is that you’re very in-tuned to your emotions and your feelings but when you’re out at school or when you’re doing something, you don’t really think about how you’re feeling then and most importantly, how... what you’re doing is STILL doing something to reach your dreams. All I’m asking for is to start being aware when you’re at school or doing an assignment. Look inwards and think about how you’re on your way, actively remind yourself, that what you’re currently doing is getting you closer to what you want. In the end, no matter what the outcome is, doing nothing... is the only limit.

Another line I love is, “courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm”. What is there to be enthusiastic about? Everything! The present, the future, the known, the unknown. Knowing and believing you’ll reach your dreams without actually knowing how to get there, but to remind yourself anyway that you’re on your way. And be patient. You may not see the changes you wanted to occur, and you may still feel lost some days, but while you’re trying things... trust me... just keep going and have faith.

M, like P said, you bright up people’s lives. You’re already inspiring people without even knowing it. You got it. You have it. Push yourself... and have fun doing it.
When we spoke the last time, I was tongue tied even though I had so much to say. I hope you know that I’m always here, wherever you are. And I’m glad you’re feeling more and more yourself again (looking at your blog c:). Embrace this and nurture yourself okayyyyyy??

I miss you and you’re always in my prayers.

I hope the skies clear up for you soon c: