Starting to see results now!

I'm so proud of myself :D

I've been dieting and exercising for a week and boy.. I can see the difference already.

Cellulite's almost completely gone, tummy looking more shapely and more toned. I can't seem to grab as much "muffin" as before. My shoulders! looking angular again.

Best part is.... my chin's been up higher too :)

I used to exercise a lot harder than this but never saw as much results.

I think I know why. It's all the vegetables I've been eating! On my holidays back in Malaysia, I never do the groceries. So even if I wanted to change my diet, it was out of my control. I still ate highly processed foods, meats and carbs. I'd try to cut down portions but still.. this is the biggest physical change I've seen in such a short period of time. It's definitely the vegetables!

Also... what I did..

This year (summer anyway), I'm making sure there are no carbohydrates in my dinners. BUT, I can eat whatever I want for my breakfast and lunch. Breakfast the largest meal and lunch smaller. I've been munching on vegetables as snacks (Refer to previous post about brussells sprouts).

I'm allowed a dessert if I want, but it was to be in the early afternoon. No later than 4pm.

I've been taking fibre supplements to help cleanse out the toxins in my body (I think that also complimented the vegetables and training).

Ginger and garlic in my food.

No oil. Steamed microwaved or roasted.

And, I just recently starting taking honey and cinnamon before going to bed and first thing in the morning.

Apparently it helps? (I just started this 2 days ago so I don't think any of the changes were due to honey + cinnamon)

I'm gonna keep looking for changes sooo we'll see!

By the way, kg wise, in the number sense, there is not much difference. Maybe 1 or 0.5?

But shape of the body, definitely. Which was what I was aiming for anyway. Numbers don't mean anything if you still look flabby!

I'm gonna go for Christmas on the Beach with Sam's grandma and auntie now. Merry Christmas people!

Bye

ZOMG

I ate too much brussels sprouts :s

I'm.

SOOOO FULL!

Looking on the bright side

My focus on missing Sam should stop!

So here's what I've been forcing myself to think to keep myself smiling:

• I passed my thesis
• Canadian Visa application's been approved
• I've been working out
• I've been watching my diet
• I'm getting a new car (a nice one - T. Yaris)
• Note* NEW. Not used.
• I'm on holiday
• I've been working on my holiday (which I like, because I love earning moolah)
• I've been getting night shifts - even though I earn money by doing nothing for the last 5 hours of the shift, I'm starting to think I prefer day shift more because I have more to do and time always pass faster when things are happening. Day shift starts at 0615am though, so well, at least, I get to sleep in with night shifts.
• I'll be visiting some uncles and aunties on Christmas day. Not too far away from family after all :)
• My brother, Rett got me a Chrissy present (pleasantly surprised when I found out)
• I received my birthday present from JJ - a beautiful DKNY wallet :)
• I'm getting my last cervical cancer vaccination tomorrow, meaning, no more needles after tomorrow!

:) bye

:(((

It's 2.00pm and my mark STILL isn't out yet!!

:((

It's 12.15am and my mark isn't out yet :(

:(

Time passes so slowly when Sam is away.

I miss him.

And apparently my thesis mark comes out tomorrow. I don't know if it will be out by 12am or 5pm, or if my lecturer was even telling the truth.

I hate this waiting game! :(

Drool worthy

Sammy was a happy happy boy :D

Which made me even happier :)

New found love

Mango and ice-cream!

...mmmmm...... :)

Stressed

My mom is stressed because she's been organising everything for the Canadian visa application.

My brother is stressed because he recently started a full time job (while studying full time as well).

And me?

I'm stressed too. Every one I know (except for 2 of my group mates) is through with uni. Some for the year, some forever. But here I am, NOT through with uni because of my thesis. Yet, I'm blogging at 10.30 am while having toast before I pick some friends up and go for this slimming treatment thing in the city. Free of course, why would we go if it wasn't?

Don't get me wrong. I have been productive. So far every time I start something, I'll be "wired".. until the task is finished, even if this takes me 6 hours. Then, I could move on either to rest, or to start another task immediately. Moving on to another task is always easy when you were "wired" just before. It's always starting the first task of the day that is hard. Or starting a task after resting. While starting, once I get my first sub-task rolling, the "wiring" comes automatically and the snowball gets other tasks done.

Then...... what am I doing blogging instead of getting tasks done?????

I guess this can be considered one of my resting periods. The slimming treatment was planned long before. I can't pull out. My friend's future as a beauty and massage therapist depends on this. The future of getting paid $45 an hour working in at an isolated resort. If I bail, who will be her mock client for her assessment?

Look at the time. Half an hour's gone already! I was looking up cheesecake recipes. When I have no money for retail therapy, I'm happy knowing there is always cooking therapy :) And.. I should go.

Bye.

Done with exams FOR GOOD

mafakaaaaaaaaaa

Trey Songz ft Drake, J-Reyez "She Just Wanna Dance"

I don't see the problem

If she wanna party

Put on sexy clothes and

Go and move her body

Shorty my shorty

She do what she please

Nigga please, she's comin home to me

Cause she just wanna...

Guys want you and girls want me but what can we do

If I just keep it honest promise you will be too

You told me that everything I'm doings brand new

I watch you gettin dressed and just appreciate the view

They ask why I let her go out alone

I say I don't feel no pressure cause I know shes comin' home,

And my dick is home so shes always tryna house it

Anything she puts on her body's the perfect outfit

I don't see the problem

If she wanna party

Put on sexy clothes and

Go and move her body

Shorty, my shorty

She do what she please

Nigga please,

Shes comin home to me

Cause she just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

Body mesmerize

They can fantasize

But when shes comin home

Shes givin me the rise

She just wanna

I don't see the problem

If she wanna party

Put on sexy clothes and

Go and move her body

Shorty, my shorty

She do what she please

Nigga please,

Shes comin home to me

Cause she just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

Body mesmerize

They can fantasize

But when shes comin home

Shes givin me the rise

She just wanna

I don't see the problem

If she wanna party

Put on sexy clothes and

Go and move her body

Shorty my shorty

She do what she please

Nigga please, she's comin home to me

Cause she just wanna

I don't see the problem

If she wanna party

Put on sexy clothes and

Go and move her body

Shorty, my shorty

She do what she please

Nigga please,

Shes comin home to me

Cause she just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

She just wanna dance

Body mesmerize

They can fantasize

But when shes comin home

Shes givin me the rise

She just wanna dance

This halloween

I was Sam!

Well okay. No. In all honesty...... I didn't celebrate it. I didn't do anything Halloween related in fact. Except that I watched Ghost, wearing Sam's wife beater and pajama pants. (That's why I said I was Sam... you get it?)

Ghost was a pretty good oldish movie I have to say. Demi looked like a prepubescent boy, but storyline and suspense and humour were well delivered.

BY THE WAY.

I volunteered to be a friend's guinea pig for her beauty course. I found out (only after I said yes), that her treatment(s') gonna be about losing weight using their "machines". And, apparently, it also involves massages and being half naked!

What a win win! Massage and losing weight ahahah

By the way Jay.. you know who this friend is? It's Julma (our family friend who used to baby sit us)

She said though I'll be half naked it wouldn't be a problem anyway since she saw me fully naked before.

So true~

I'm excoited.

Nicki Minaj in Kanye West's "Monster"

Lyrics

Pull up in the monster
automobile gangster
with a bad b-tch that came from Sri Lanka
yeah I'm in that Tonka, colour of Willy Wonka
you could be the King but watch the Queen conquer
ok first things first I'll eat your brains
then I'mma start rocking gold teeth and fangs
cause that's what a muthaf-cking monster do
hairdresser from Milan, thats the monster do
monster Giuseppe heel that's the monster shoe
Young Money is the roster and the monster crew
and I'm all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face
and if I'm fake I aint notice cause my money aint
let me get this straight wait I'm the rookie
but my features and my shows ten times your pay?
50k for a verse, no album out!
yeah my money's so tall that my barbie's gotta climb it
hotter than a middle eastern climate
find it Tony Matterhorn dutty wine it
while it, nicki on them titties when I sign it
how these n-ggas so one-track minded
but really really I don't give a F-U-C-K
forget barbie f-ck nicki she's fake
she's on a diet but my pockets eating cheese cake
and I'll say bride of Chucky is Child's play
just killed another career it's a mild day
besides 'Ye they can't stand besides me
I think me, you and Am [Amber Rose] should menage friday
pink wig thick ass give em whip lash
I think big get cash make em blink fast
now look at what you just saw I think this is what you live for
aaaahhh, I'm a muthaf-cking monster!

Brownies

Have time to kill?

Seeking some comfort food?

Or just want to procrastinate?

This is one of the best things you can do.

Really.

And this is how you do it.

Have fun!

hdmi what

Double Negatives

What's with people using them??

"Not necessarily unproblematic"

"Highly unlikely to be unreliable"

Can't they just say "there may be some problems" and "it's fairly reliable" instead? :|

Grr.. maybe I'm just too slow!

My brother

Week after week, I complain about him.

Troughs after troughs, I boil because of his words.

But blood is still blood,

And I can't wait for him to see what I (with parents' money and with their permission) bought for him for his birthday!

Heeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'm so happy cause I know he'll be IMPLODING with joy!

-

I hope they know where they're heading.

I hope they know the consequences they're setting themselves up for.

I hope their future still seem bright for them.

I just hope they know.

"Total Eclipse of the Heart"

Pictures speak for themselves.

They don't need to be explicit to tell a story.

And yet, the obvious may not actually be an adequate presentation of the captured moment.

I saw many pictures today :)

Some of me, some of my loved ones.

I saw the picture of me and Sam, dressed up, matching colours, matching smiles.

I smile.

I saw pictures of Sam, Jono and their elder brother Ashley, when they were kids.

I smile. I imagined their childhood as if watching an old video recording. I could see their parents' love reflecting from their eyes. I could see competition.. mischief. Bliss.

I saw pictures of Milo, who is currently lost (we suspect stolen).

I smile. Milo's squinty eyes look past the camera.. staring straight at his owner, proudly, as she took the photo. He was on my lap, while I was on th driver's seat, parked of course, with his front paws perched on the steering wheel. Such small creature.. yet balls of steel. Unfortunately.

I saw pictures of Sam and his mother taken on his 21st birthday.

I smile. I remember the story she told us, about how much alcohol was wasted that day. I remember the story she told of her and Sam's father. Forever love, confirmed at age 17. I remember Jono, Sam and I sitting with their mom, chit chatting, before we went to bed. Which made me remember my mom. Because my siblings and I did the same.

I saw pictures of Sam and his previous love.

I blinked. I paused. Mixed feelings. But can you blame me?

I remember seeing the photo the first time. Saved the photo, looked for my best friend online, send the photo to him, and said "Jay! how hot is this mix?? She's mixed everything. Dutch, Indon, Indian etc etc I can't remember all". And Jay said, "She's okay, I guess. Who's the guy??!?"

I smile.

I remember seeing the same photo shortly after I got to know Sam, and remember feeling... confused, no, rather, curious. At this time, I was holidaying in Malaysia. This was also the same time I discovered Sam and Sam were no longer Facebook friends. Which made me even more curious. I never knew what happened between them (at that time). But from what I gathered in my few encounters with Sam, I knew, he rather not talk about it. And one thing I learnt from the past was, "letting nature take it's course", and by asking about his past.. especially after getting the vibe that I shouldn't ask, I believe is pushing nature.

I remember thinking about this shortly after I came back from holidays. And Sam and I had been dating for some weeks now. He had told me about his story. I listened. I cringed with him, I sighed with him, I laughed, I was in awe, I was speechless. I was touched. I remember, after knowing, and looking at the same photo again when I came across it... I smiled. I understood why the photos were still there. Just because something ended badly, didn't mean you had to regret the entire journey. I remember feeling so much more respect for Sam then.

Then, I remember coming across the same photo.. few days ago. I stared. And stared. And stared. Staaaaaaarrrredd. And my heart sank. And I start to sulk. Unlike previously, I looked at this photo as if I saw it the first time, as his girlfriend. I didn't like it. I shut the window immediately, and distracted myself.

It's funny how time can change the littlest things. Half a year ago, I hadn't seen Sam for 3 months and I couldn't care less. A month ago, I hadn't seen him for a week, and I was devastated. Like real emo.

:)

I shall now end with..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIRiZsDObrU

(Thanks Jono, for the perfect video recommendation/conclusion.)

Words to summarise recent weeks

• assignments
• Sam :))
• break
• lazy
• sleep ins
• Sam :))
• work
• uni
• airport runs
• Sam :))
• cooking
• Sam :))
• dining
• procrastinating
• debitssss :(
• pay rise :)
• thesis :(
• sunny
• tan

And more Sam :))))

:D

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I want a new phone

*cry cry cry*

*whine whine whine*

waaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

In response to a friend's blog post

Click to view

I actually disagree with a lot of the things you mentioned there!

I do agree that sex education MUST be practiced. But I don't think simply advocating for abstinence will work. Kids will go on to do and experiment with whatever they are curious about. There is no stopping it. What I think we should do is provide the right type of education about sex including what actually happens during sex, how people might come to decide on having sex, how partying and the use of alcohol could influence one's sexual experience, the various perspectives of sex from OTHER cultures, the consequences of having protected as well as unprotected sex and of course diseases. And plenty more! By informing young teenagers, and treating them with respect, they will get the idea that having sex is far more beyond that just the intercourse itself. By being unbiased, and supportive no matter what, that is being nonjudgmental while providing them the right education, they will be more self-aware of themselves and know that they owe themselves the respect and also deserve respect from others. With that said, when they choose to engage in sexual intercourse before marriage and at a young age, as long as they are fully aware of the consequences and are being safe about it, I will be totally okay with it.

Kids will do whatever they want to do. In front OR behind you back. Their friends will talk about it. Movies show it. There’s the inevitable porn on websites that someone is bound to come across and share with others. I think the best thing to do is let them know that they are in control of their body, and to let them be aware of the things that could result from having sex.

From that, yes, I think a video showing childbirths would be appropriate. As long as the education is not one sided i.e. biased. Simply saying, "if you have sex, you will die" like the gym coach in the movie Mean Girls, just won't work. It's one of the most backward methods of premarital sex prevention ever.

With regards to the school you mentioned, I say, KUDOS.

All the things I mentioned before, about the right type of education about sex, is IMPOSSIBLE in Malaysia. Because we are too conservative and stubborn and downright backwards with our ways. Sex education just WON’T happen because sex is too taboo in our country. They believe that by including any material involving sex, will encourage sex. They refuse to believe that it’s happening, they refuse to believe that kids are maturing way early than before, and they refuse to believe that sex education is important. Because of that, Malaysia has pretty fucked up views about sex.

Sex is so taboo, but it’s everywhere. On TV, on the net, in music, in books... no matter how bad you make it sound, there are still a thousand more reasons people can think of to want to try it. But our country makes it so hard for people who actually want to learn or educate about it. Anyone who attempts to address it will be shunned as sex is really just TOO taboo to talk about. Just like no one ever talks about using protection for sex because, "we don't want them to have sex in the first place". It's bloody unrealistic. And when people do try to do the right thing, they feel disgusted about it. How many people do you know will not touch a condom?

I know the school may cause people to think that it is fine for people to get pregnant at 14 but think about the broader picture. Sex is happening and you can’t do anything to stop it. We can only do our best in guiding our youths to making an INFORMED decision when it comes down to it. For that to happen, everyone should stop demonising sex. And I think.... that school for pregnant teens, is a great way to break the barrier and makes a great WAKE UP call to the locals. It’s a big move, a bold move, that says, THIS IS WHAT’S HAPPENING AND WE SHOULD STOP DENYING OR AVOIDING IT.

And really, a lot of teens are misguided in this generation. And that can be due to everything and anything from poor quality education, disturbed family backgrounds, low self-esteem etc etc etc, that you can't simply BLAME them alone for falling pregnant. Falling pregnant can be one of the side effects of a larger problem, like maybe, parental neglect? Or divorce. Or whatever. Girls will always seek to be loved, and guys will always find a way to have sex, be it to tell the girl he loves her and will always love her and tell her that to show that she loves him back is to sleep with him. When someone is lost and vulnerable, they’re easily manipulated and they WILL believe that by sleeping someone means to show that you love the person.

Then when someone falls pregnant early, what happens? They become the talk of the town. They get rejected by their families, friends, they lose all things valuable to them at their most important and fragile time of their lives. A school that won’t blame or judge is perfect to build their hopes again, to be in a supportive environment with other people who know what you’re going through, to know your future is still in their hands, to know their goals aren’t diminished as long as they continue to work hard and strive. A lot of teenagers end up regretting having sex early. And it’s not just because they’re horny. A ton of things could influence that. Media, peer pressure, alcohol, values, and all the stuff I said before. These things are never black and white. And just because teenagers fall pregnant early doesn’t mean they deserve to struggle forever. And just because they got pregnant, doesn’t mean they were stupid. Some were bright, but naive girls who knew nothing about sex but were coerced into doing it. And some, were genuinely in love with their partners who genuinely love them back, who were aware of the consequences but would like to be intimate and nurture the trust, end up with an unplanned pregnancy even after using protection. They still deserve a second chance at developing their careers, no?

You know who you are

You're better than the best

I'm lucky just to linger in your light

Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)

Completely unaware

Nothing can compare to where you send me

Let's me know that it's okay (yea, it's okay)

And the moments when my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed

Sing like a bird,

Dizzy in my head

Spin like a record,

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like fool,

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold,

Buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone

Somehow you come along just like a flower pokin through the sidewalk crack

And just like that

You steal away the rain

And just like that

Don't know how I lived without you

'Cuz everytime that I get around you

I see the best of me inside your eyes

You make me smile

You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile

It's been a rong rong time.

So couple of nights ago, my phone battery went flat after talking to my best friends. Jay was telling me about how he showed my pictures to this known M'sian photographer in KL. Both reckon I have potential right... and the guy said for me to give him a call when I drop by KL. Or to drop by KL to give him a call. Or something like that.

JJ said he's expensive.

And I said, I'm not paying.

What? I'm not paying!

I was talking to Sam about this on our way to Scott Pilgrim vs The World. He basically said exactly what I was feeling, except I couldn't think of the right words to verbalise it. Which was along the lines of, if he really truly, genuinely thought I had potential, and would like to see me out there fulfill my potential, he should be taking me under his photographer wings and offer his photography services to me for free and guide me through the tough model world and mentor me etc. Instead of charging me like everyone else. Because I'm not like everyone else. I'm not paying to get my pictures done, to get paid to get pictures done. If that makes sense.

You know I don't even think I'm that fantastic but really in a way this is a test of someone's authenticity. If you honestly do truly believe in me, you'd be offering yourself and make it a long term investment. Without question.

Like what my photographer friends did in KK :p

So, yeh. I'm not paying!

Anyway... Sam and I also talked about Miss Malaysia. He reckons, I shouldn't be limited to my parents' attitudes towards the pageant business. But that's kinda hard for me.. to do. I caused quite a frenzy last holidays. And I was only part of an interstate competition. Annndd.. I kinda gave them my word... that I'll never do such a thing again.

But after talking to Sam, I feel more inclined to join. For me, I'm not after the spotlight and fame. I'm not really as attracted to that part of the pageant, as I am to the opportunities beyond the runway and prizes. Last holidays, being in the competition, we did plenty of community work as part of the program. I'm hoping that by maybe joining Miss Malaysia, I can get back into that type of work and also train my networking skills for the future.

Previous pageant queens admitted to JJ that simply having titles on their resumes had helped them in their current careers. That would be a bonus for me! I think, it's not because of all the popularity (though there are still some factors of that I guess), but really because of the work experience and networking during the entire pageant.

The next selection would be in June apparently. I'd be done with my studies then.... I do actually have plans do some travelling after my graduation.... but if I'm taking up this challenge who knows, I might have the opportunity to travel anyway and get sponsored while doing so.

ZOMG. Hahaha. Guess I have to prepare my apologies for the parents again.

To friends reading this who have me on Facebook, don't mention anything about this on my wall please :p decision's not solid yet and I really don't want any interrogation from family members hahaha

Peace and love!

Ginny Weasley from Harry Potter and Caius (Volturi) from Twilight

are engaged!

:O

Aww... how "magical".

When I graduate

I want to travel to more than 5 different countries.

Yes I do.

VIDEO: Living in luxury

VIDEO: Living in luxury

http://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-advice/first-review-of-singapores-mega-hotel/story-e6frfqfr-1225886602327

Soooo... job shadowing was cancelled today

We had a talk from DIAC instead. 9-3pm.

Boring!

So I went on MiniFring on my phone half the time hehehe. Strange... I saw contacts online from MSN as WELL as Skype? Is Fring like that normally?

Anyway. Wasn't overly disappointed with the change. Yeah twas boring but morning tea (Scones with jam and cream nom nom nom), lunch AND afternoon tea were provided :p and if I was shadowing instead I'd have to wake up at 5am soooo... iz all cool :)

I have to say the training sessions have been quite poorly organised. IF it was organised properly, they would have only taken 5 days maximum to deliver the necessary content plus assessments. I say this cause every session feels like they're repeating the same shit all over again. We get it..... clients do not = criminals. We get it, we have to treat them all as equals. DIAC, Serco, Red Cross, everyone... ALWAYS repeat the same thing whenever they come in. There were so many overlaps it got quite annoying to listen to.

BUT. Hey. Who am I to say all this ey? after all they are paying us to come in to listen to them. they want to waste their money and drag out the weeks? Fine. In the end there's more for us. the least they could do was not make training so boring and repetitive :/

Blah. Today's the last of the last. It's over and done with. We now continue with the job shadowing. I have a 6 hour one tomorrow, and night 12 hour ones for Thursday and Sunday. hehehe No need to wake up early for any shifts! yayyyy. And for the following week I only have one shfit which will be on a Sunday.. which is also another night one. hehehe.. before I know it I'll be on my way picking up Sam and Jon from the airport! *happy dance*

Alright. I smell. I'm gonna take a shower now :)

Work

I’ll be doing my first ever 12 hour shift tomorrow.

6.15am – 6.30pm

Wehewwww, not.

Okay that’s not entirely true. I am quite excited. I did two 8 hour shadowing last week. My first was so boring and awkward I hated it. Hated it so much I came home grumpy. Got so grumpy it affected whatever I did that night :/ e.g. going for grocery shopping twice and still came back forgetting something. Came home and cooked and ended up not cooking right it tasted funny. And even while cooking I kept dropping the spatula spilling sauce all over the floor. AND THEN when I’m finally eating I bit my lip! How HOK is that? Normally I don’t get so uptight about my clumsiness. I don’t know what happened. And though I was having my period I also DON’T normally get grumpy like many do. Whatever it was… I didn’t like myself that night.

On my second day of shadowing, things were a lot different. Good different. Thank GOD. See on the first day, the only productive thing we did was making sure certain forms were signed in EVERY client’s folder and that they were in the right ORDER. That was the most exciting thing we did out of all the 8 hours. The other “exciting” thing we did was set up a baby chair for one of the families. I know I shouldn’t complain ‘cause I’m still getting paid. But still, you know :/ No wonder the clients get depressed. They’re stuck in there with nothing much to do or distract themselves with. They have too much time to think about their visa process shit.

Anyway, as I was saying, the second day was so much better than the first. We carried out some activities with the clients and we also finally had a chance to be the control people (people in charge of security – cameras, log books, registers etc). I also spent some time with the interpreters learning some basic Hazaragi and Arabic. Oh and guess wot! One of the interpreters is also a close friend of Jaryllyn’s brother Jon! Small world eh! He mentioned a great friend of his who is a “magician with a huge goatie, who plays the guitar”. Hehehe! And I asked if he knew the sister “with the piercings” he said yes! He’s now one of the people I look forward to seeing when I go to work :p just cause we have mutual friends and he can teach me another language ;)

In the previous weeks, the trainers who came in and taught us always mentioned that this job will be a real eye opener and that it’ll be one of the most rewarding things we’d have done in our lives. On the second day of shadowing, I experienced my first rewarding moment! I was playing with a couple of 4-5 yr olds in the common lounge right... We were passing the soccer ball to one another until I snatched the ball and said “It’s mine. All mine now.” Just for fun. It’s not like I won’t return the ball or anything. And the two just looked at each other, grinned and started wrestling with me! One thing lead to another suddenly I was piggy backing both of them (luckily they were really small) and I spun them round and round acting like a transformers robot. And they loved it!! They were screaming and laughing and when it was time for me to leave, they hugged me so tight at the door. They didn’t want to let go. This surprised me so much cause for one, I never really connect with kids in general. Second, I never thought they’d appreciate the previous 10 minutes that much. This got me so warm and fuzzy inside. I couldn’t stop thinking about it on the way home.

So in a way I’m not down with the waking up at 5am, but I’m definitely excited to meet the clients and spend some time entertaining them again :D OH. And because I, suggested Body Combat classes to the director, they are now expecting ME to run it if the plan works out. Hahahah. I enjoyed body combat during Year 11. But that’s it. I don’t know how to choreograph shit! Soooo I think I might get one of those body combat work out dvd’s and learn at home and see if I can pull it off at work :p I thought of attending REAL classes but I think the dvd will be more cost efficient :p

Alrightyy. Have to freshen up now. Update later! Wish me luck in waking up tomorrow :)

Quote of the day

Happiness doesn't exist on the far side of distant mountains. It is within you, yourself. Not you, however, sitting in idle passivity. It is to be found in the vibrant dynamism of your own life as you struggle to challenge and overcome one obstacle after another, as you clamber up a perilous ridge in pursuit of that which lies beyond.

I miss Sam :((((((((

But we'll Skype tomorrow?

Thank God he's only on holiday. I can't imagine doing this for more than a month! But its such poor timing though cause winter's actually starting to get cold. And it feels extra cold without him :(((

And I miss my friends too :(

And Rett is in Melbourne :(

But at least Iris is staying with us now so she's there to keep my company :)

We even watched Sex and the City 2 at the movies the other night! though I haven't even watched the first one. haha. OH well. An easy-to-watch and entertaining movie.

I'm heading to bed now so more updates later people~

M

I saw a translated Japanese proverb today. It was framed up at where we had our training. It said “Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare”.

When I read it, the first thing that came to mind, was a good friend of mine. One I rarely see, because of distance, because of time, and of course because I’m not that loaded to fly over to Europe to see her whenever I wanted (which is pretty much how I feel like every time I talk to her). She’s one of the most amazing people I know, and one you never need to try to get along with. Our friendship was effortless. We connected immediately. Sounds funny I know, but there are some people who are just hard to get along with at first, but you end up close with them anyway much later.

Anyway, M, you’re probably the reason I got so disappointed with PLC. Let me explain people. Before going there, I knew she went to that school. So when I met her, and knowing I was going to be in the same school, I thought everyone I meet, will be just like her! Easy going and open-minded.

Boy was I wrong!

Nevertheless, even before going to PLC, I just knew there will never be another M. Till now, I still believe that.

M, I apologise for what I said before. It wasn’t my place at all to tell you to get back with P. However, I still strongly believe, you are capable of achieving everything you want to achieve. To be independent, to be inspiring. You already got this! It just hasn’t been obvious to YOU because you just don’t believe it. The proverb above can be interpreted in so many ways, but it reminded me of you because when you spoke to me, you were so clear with knowing what needed to be done, how it had to be done, and why you needed what you want… you were very clear, except… for when you begin to add detail to the plan, which threw you off track, and you became overwhelmed with actually making these thoughts into reality.

I know we can’t help it when sometimes millions of things rush to our head when we start to think or plan things. And every time it happens, little do we know it, it discourages us more and more to think about it and to get started at all. But the littlest things we do to make it clearer, make a huge difference. Like blogging? c: Actually, anything that presents to you physically of what you initially thought of, HELPS. Whatever this may be. A post-it. A drawing. A picture of someone. It just helps whenever you can see your goals in front of you in actual material. These don’t necessarily have to represent your ultimate life goals. These can just be plans for the next day. Like I said, littlest things, huge difference. We may not know be aware of it but actually doing what we actually planned to do motivates us to do a lot more.

Someone once told me, sometimes to step up you step sideways. It doesn’t matter if nothing is happening. But the effort still makes a huge difference. Also, people don’t think this is important but always acknowledge the things you do for yourself and recognise it whether you have tried doing what you planned to do. M, I don’t need to be in front of you, to know that you’re not as aware of what goes on when you’re doing something for yourself, compared to how you feel when you’re alone. Don’t get the wrong idea, what I’m saying is that you’re very in-tuned to your emotions and your feelings but when you’re out at school or when you’re doing something, you don’t really think about how you’re feeling then and most importantly, how... what you’re doing is STILL doing something to reach your dreams. All I’m asking for is to start being aware when you’re at school or doing an assignment. Look inwards and think about how you’re on your way, actively remind yourself, that what you’re currently doing is getting you closer to what you want. In the end, no matter what the outcome is, doing nothing... is the only limit.

Another line I love is, “courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm”. What is there to be enthusiastic about? Everything! The present, the future, the known, the unknown. Knowing and believing you’ll reach your dreams without actually knowing how to get there, but to remind yourself anyway that you’re on your way. And be patient. You may not see the changes you wanted to occur, and you may still feel lost some days, but while you’re trying things... trust me... just keep going and have faith.

M, like P said, you bright up people’s lives. You’re already inspiring people without even knowing it. You got it. You have it. Push yourself... and have fun doing it.
When we spoke the last time, I was tongue tied even though I had so much to say. I hope you know that I’m always here, wherever you are. And I’m glad you’re feeling more and more yourself again (looking at your blog c:). Embrace this and nurture yourself okayyyyyy??

I miss you and you’re always in my prayers.

I hope the skies clear up for you soon c:

And it finally TRULY begins!

It's starting.

A friend of mine is engaged! Cheryl K. is the first person I know engaged who is my age, and is directly a friend of mine (i.e. not someone I met through another friend or sibling). We used to go to the same high school and though we're not that close I'm still really stoked for her :D

This actually reminded me about how my family friends and I back home would have discussions about marriage during the holidays, mostly debating who would be married off/engaged first. (I never actually thought about my non-family friends! hahaha..) We'd guess that Evelyn would prolly get engaged first among the G-word crew. And last or never possibly Jay hahahaha. Just cause of legal issues of course. Now I'm guessing who's next.

I reckon................... the couple who is most likely to get engaged next..... is................... Ja+Fran.............. or Lucas+Sarah :D

Don't ask me why! It's just the vibe I get!

Anyway, I said it's starting/beginning because we/kids of my generation are reaching that milestone already. From young we know this was coming! It's just hard for me to believe still. Sometimes I still can't believe how I came to study in university. This was never in my thoughts or expectation to pursue uni.. while growing up, but it happened. As a kid, I'd think only the smartest people go to uni, and that uni will be like the American colleges on tv - Large fields with plenty of white people... sitting on the grass or under a tree. Studying. And/or socialising. And then having crazy parties.

Then one January I got sent to boarding school overseas and before I knew it I was filling out applications to universities because everyone was (supposed to be?) doing it. Same with driving too btw. Growing up, I never had a single vision of me driving. At all. When my parents thought it was time for me to learn, I was scared and didn't want to do it. Told my parents I could do with public transport.

Now, I have my own car. I drive everyday. and I go to uni. Friends have even graduated or are graduating... and actually already getting engaged. It's bizarre... but it's reality I guess.

Now I wonder who's going to be the first to have kids :p

For me I think this life business is really really hard. Like, I REALLY want to be an active energetic grandparent one day who will see her own grandkids go through puberty and pass on advice etc, buttt... that would mean I'll have to have kids around 25. And I'd like to do this traditionally, meaning, marriage first. SO. That would mean marriage will be before 25.

Oh God.

And this is just marriage. What about my career? As it is I'm having so much trouble deciding what to do during end of year holidays and what to do next year in general. I don't even know if I'm finishing up my education with a Bachelor degree or something greater... just hate this uncertainty.

Now with all that said..... I'm going to follow MY mother's advice, and just, "Let nature take it's course". I don't know when or how my life's gonna turn out after this year. But... things will unfold... there's no doubt about it. I mean, life is happening whether you'd like it to pause or not. Whatever's to come... will come. Before I know it, I'll be 75 and sitting in KYC... drinking Milo Ping with JJ... and talking about dentures and kids having no respect anymore. Hahah..

Maaaaaaaan.... we're actually growing up.

Shit just got real yo.

Lunch break

Day 1 training today!

Suprisingly the stuff presented to us aren't extremely boring or that hard to comprehend. Even Managed to stay focused until a certain point towards the end where I was desperately needing a toilet break (Not to pee or poo but to let out a huge loud fart I knew I had no control over :p), and apparently we only have four weeks of training now instead of 5. Yes! Seriously. I cannot deal with wakin up at 7 everyday for five weeks.. I know that kind of lifestyle is inevitable anyway and its what happens when you become an adult but hey still a student here :p and I'll grow up when I graduate :)

Anyway. Right now I have about half an hour left on my lunch break and I just spent 18 bucks on fish and chips because I don't have cash on me and the hotel restaurant's got a $12 minimum to pay by card. Hmmph. And cbf going out to find an atm, get lunch and try beat traffic all over again.

Oh Shit. I need another toilet break. Toodly doo!

Lazy update

It's winter. It's cold. It's the end of semester.

It's time for home cooked chicken rice!

-

Btw... I've been enjoying life a bit too much lately hence the lack of updates. hehehehe. The post-semester pre-exam study week has just been too good you know? Exams start the following week but I don't have one till the 22nd of June, which will be the only exam I have left. So since the time I handed in my last assignment, I have just been enjoying myself doing everything and nothing at the same time.

I'm not crazy enough to bolt myself down to study just yet! Also, the parents were just over last week. Such great timing that they arrived after I had done all my assignments :D and their trip was short but very sweet. In just 7 days, we cooked for them for all the nights they stayed in and also took them to the mid-year sales. It felt like ages since we last saw them so being with them was just awesome. And listening to mom's stories all over again? Just never gets old! I miss my parents already :/

Anyway, I wanna start preparing tonight's dinner. :D

More updates next time!

Nicole Scherzinger

has the most amazing body!



When I grow up I wanna be Nicole :D

Photos of friends' pets

They are SHOOOOOOOOO CUTEEE!!!!

This is Leopold



Marie's beautiful sausage dog puppy








and this is Milo



Iris' "tea-cup" sized chihuahua



My laptop can eat him!







I think I'll never ever get sad if I just have a dog. I hate being allergic to them :( I carry anti histamine with me whereever I go though.... ok so its more like I hate that my brother won't help me raise one if I'm willing to buy one! hahaha

The Top 3 Evil Moments I Have Weekly Because of Facebook

1. When you stalk people on Facebook and realise how lame your ex has become since you guys broke up

2. When you come across the Facebook profile of someone who used to be mean to you, and seeing how unattractive and/or fat he or she's become

3. When you come across the Facebook profile of an ex crush, and seeing how unattractive and/or fat he's become

So mean right????? But it just makes my day sometimes! To the girls at high school who only spoke to me when they saw who was my Year 12 Ball date, to the crushes I liked who only started to notice me now, to the ex crush who took advantage of my feelings and tried to two-time me, to the idiot ex who would "like" pictures of girls in bikinis tanning on the beach...

Karma's a bitch.

And I friggin' love it.

Assignmenting

This never ends.

Just. want. to. graduateeeeeeee :'(

Mission Accomplished

The literature review is finished! It's not due till a week from now but I'm so proud of myself I got it done :) its another piece of shit. But at least it's 7 pages worth of it!

So the past few days have gone. In those days, I managed to get some research done for homework. Get sick. Pull an all nighter. Get an epic homework completely finished. Spend time with Sam. Spend time with Koko Jon. Spend time with Milo. Spend time with Facebook etc etc

Facebook.. since joining the the model comp.. have flooded my news feed with photographers' photos. And because I became friends with Joannabelle Ng (Miss Malaysia 2009), real life and on Facebook, and because her boyfriend's a photographer, she keeps getting tagged on Facebook and it shows up on my news feed every time. Every single time.

Sometimes her photos don't interest me and sometimes they do.

Anyway, today J.N. got tagged on Facebook again, and this time I decided to browse. Bored mah. As usual, went through the photos quickly... niice... euw... nice... euw.. euw.. euw.. nice.. niiiiiice... uhhh... nice... euw.

Here are some of the photos I thought were nice, that were taken by her boyfriend, Nic Chung :)

So while looking at her photos.. I had a few flashbacks.

I thought about the time when Ja said to me at uni a year and a half ago "Hey you're friends with Miss Malaysia oh??".

I was like "?". The only Miss I knew at the time was my friend's mom, who used to be Miss Sabah. Well runner up. or something. Still? ahahah...

Ja, "Andrea Fonseka"

Me, "Ohh........................... OHHHH??????? She's Miss Malaysia???????"

Ja, "Yeah.. I was keh-pohing and reading her blog. And I saw a photo with you in it!"

Me, "Yeah we had lunch cuz my brother is good friends with her sister.. Lena. He was asking her to hook him up with Andrea."

etc etc etc (Apparently the Fonsekas' mom was Miss Malaysia too :d )

After my little memory moment, I decided to google Andrea.

Definitely a hot girl! Look for yourself...

Even went on FHM a few times

BUT

I didn't know.. she was also

Apparently (again), when she won the title there were all these controversial talks about her weight. I wonder if it contributed to the weight loss?

Gosh.. she wasn't even fat. She was pretty padded, yes.

Then again, I won't say she looks worse than before. Who are we kidding right? She looks way hotter thin.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not pro-thin (pro-slim yes.) . But fact is fact, and fact is by comparison of the photos, her thin photos rocked way more hahah

Anyway, Clare asked about Miss Malaysia, if I was really going to join. I really don't knowwwwwwwww. I can say, I intend to? But if there are more important things for me to get done during that season next year I won't put it on hold just to join M. M.

Everything's too uncertain right now basically.

Anyway.. Imma go. Have a good weekend people~